Somewhere there's Someone who Dreams of My Smile

As I stand under the moonlight and turn my sundail, I know that there's someone who dreams of my smile. A smile that makes waves wash over the sea, and in that smile lies life's sweet mystery. What's in a smile, the same as a name, that which we call a rose as Shakespeare would say. A smile so sweet, like peaches and cream, like sweet-sour nucter sucked by the sweetest of bees. Like a honey-crisp apple hanging fromthe tallest of trees, and it's leaves are the brightest of greens. And awake he lays at night and dreams of the perfect thread that sows the seams to keep the edges of her lips on her cheeks. A smile so sweet not even the neatest of treats could beat. So I sit and watch the moon reflect off of the sea. And I know, somewhere there's someone who dreams of my smile.

Our Curse

I can't handle it anymore,
It's all too much.
I don't know what to do,
And now your not here anymore.
Whose going to help me?
What do I do,
What to do without you?
Why did you leave me like this,
I'm all alone.
Now this house is not a home,
Because you left me all alone.
You don't know how I feel,
I don't know if you ever will.
I want to tell you how I feel.
Maybe in time I will.
But for now, killing me slowly
There's pain inside and your to blame.
I hate that nothing stays the same,
I guess we all have to change
For better or for worse.
And Love is Our Curse.

The Imperfect, Perfect Girl

The girl, Invisible.
Hiding her biggest imperfection behind her other imperfections.
If you ask her what her biggest imperfection is she will answer, Herself.
That is not true. She is different. A wonder. Atreasure. Creative. Beautiful. Klutzy. Wierd. Artistic. Different. Her flaws don't make her imperfect.
The Imperfection is that she stays hidden behind the Perfection.
These things she calls flaws are what make her amazing.
Her difference is what attracts the people she so often pushes away.
What she doesn't know is how much people love her for her Imperfections.
And if she would be that Impercect girl more often then she herself would see how Perfect the Imperfect girl really is.

I Weep to Sleep

I often cry, this lullaby that helps put me to sleep. These nights I weep are awful long, my tears play like a song. The sweet sounds of sobbing color my walls these tears paint clouds in my eyes. The lullaby may last a day, I hope these tears will go away. The sadness strikes, its here to stay. The lullaby my sobbing plays is just a cry for help. A handful of tears, a mountain of fears I hate the sound of my weeping, so I hold my ears. I finally fall to sleep but in my dreams I continue to weep. This lullaby does give me peace but the cost is not the least. I hope one day I hope someday I will not weep, these sobs I will not need to sleep. But as I lay in the bed, this lullaby chimes in the back of my head, and I just cry.

Things change, It gets better

When you're a child every things so great, you have so much fun, you love everyone and the worlds perfect, but then you wake up one day and it's not.  You don't know what to do, you get confused, you're stressed, you can't sleep, sometimes you have so much going on that you just can't take it and you feel like your worlds going to explode. The thing I love about children is that they love so completely and their love is the sweetest and it's unconditional and it makes you so happy and then they grow up and it's gone, just like that. But I still love unconditional and there are days when I wish everyone loved that way but then I realize why there has to be a period of time when you stop loving like that because it makes everything hurt so much more. I hate getting to close to people so I tend to get attached to inanimate objects because I know they can't hurt you. But there was a time where I forgot about that and I let myself get attached to someone, and it felt so real and when it ended it was the worst pain I had ever felt. People always tell me I'm different or they say I'm weird and I think it's because I live and laugh like a normal girl but I love much harder, and i hate that. And there are days I wish I could stay mad at someone for more than an 30 minutes or my head would stop forgiving people before my heart had a chance to I just wish that for one day of my life I could hate someone who hurt me. Then today something terrible happened that made me cry like a baby and I swore not to talk to the person for a long time and I just wanted to hate them, and then I felt something in my heart and part of me did hate them. It was a terrible feeling and I felt bad for feeling it but I couldn't stop and I hated them even though I knew it was wrong. And I hope one day I can forgive them for real and I don't have to hate them for making me feel like the scum of the earth. Because having all this hate in my heart is not a good feeling, it's overwhelming and it controls your body until you become the hate you feel so much and I don't want to be a bad person. So if it's hard for you, find someone to talk to, talk to me or just think it over because it always gets better, even if not as soon as you hoped. I'm not a child anymore but some days I wish I was so that my heart and my mind would be in sync again.
                                                                                          -Nani

-Nani

The Girl in The Corner

Crumpled in a corner in my mind, bent and twisted in more ways than one is a girl. A scared girl, a sweet girl, a sometimes pessimistic girl, she can be fairly weird at times, and she daydreams a little too much. This girl is different than any other girl you meet, but you often don't get a chance to meet her. In her mind she lives in a world where no one calls her weird, no one hurts her, and she can walk around not having to wonder if the two girls she passed were whispering about her, but only in her mind does that world exist. In this world she has to hide, and she's afraid to care because she always cares too much, afraid to think because she always thinks to much, afraid to fall because no one ever catches her, afraid to trust because its always been broken and scared to smile because she doesn't want to get her hopes up. The world she lives in has hurt her so much that it has turned her into something she is not, a monster. Its the story of The Hulk, but she doesn't turn back. She's stuck as this girl, this rebel, this cruel optimistic person who can't control her emotions, who is sometimes scared to speak because she fears what might escape her mouth. She doesn't know what to do so she just dreams of that one person who can make her smile, who likes her because she's weird and not in spite of it, he loves how much she cares and how much she thinks and he catches her when she falls, fixes her trust and mends her heart. And she just dreams hoping everyday they will meet and she knows that no matter how long  it takes she'll find that person. But for now this girl remains a bystander in her own life because if she ever leaves the corners of my mind the world will tear her apart because there's no room for big-hearted people who hurt to much. You can't be sweet if you live in the real world she heard one day, and that sent her to the corner, and she stays there day and night gathering up the courage to walk amongst the cruel world. She's only a scared girl and I hope one day I can be her again because I hate keeping her in that corner
                                                                         -Nani